Movie Review - Casino Royal

Terrible. Just awful. What a travesty to a rich movie heritage.

If you really are a Bond afficianado, go see it. You'll likely appreciate Pierce Brosnan all-the-more. If you are not, keep the $10 in your pocket. You're not missing anything.

Trust me. There are a lot of other really good movies you can spend your time and money on.

James Bond 007 is supposed to be a class-act, not a thug. Come on guys! How long have we seen Bond movies for? All of the previous 007s were suave and sophisticated, from Connery to Moore to Brosnan. Even Timothy Dalton wasnt half bad as Bond in The Living Daylights. Damn, was that really 20 years ago!

The problem is that the producers of this latest effort think the audience seems to be desperate housewives. Obvious? I mean, Daniel Craig is the stereotypical badboy, beefcake with the pretty blue eyes and incredible pecs. (Ok, I admit it. I was jealous of his chest. I think I'll have to up my chest routine at the gym.)

I wanted to see the real James Bond. The one scene that really summed it all up was when his sidekick (the female government accountant), literally had to force him to where a tuxedo to a high stakes poker match. I mean... James Bond is supposed to where a tux like you and I wear a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. And the woman has to dress him up to look good?

Typical. The good, sensible woman has to help fix the badboy so he can win the day. Ugh. So cliche. And what's with her saving his ass so many times? Bond is always supposed to have a stash of clever tricks and gadgets up his sleeve to be a self-sufficient, elite, government operative for the Queen, no less. Sad, really sad.

Thankfully, at least the bad guy - Le Chiffre, was decent.

And oh-by-the-way... where was the really great music? The easily recognizable Bond score was very subtle this time. Music can sometimes really take scenes, and sometimes even entire movies and their audiences, over the edge. Again, this movie had a weak soundtrack and was not able to deliver me.

Oh, and producer-guys. A couple of more tips. James Bond does not quit his job for anything... EVER. He does not fall in love with the women he encounters... EVER. He seduces them and enjoys their passions while they lose their breath over him. It's that simple. And that's why the rest of the male population wishes we were James Bond. He is extrememly passionate about his job (I mean, who wouldnt be with a government-issued licence to kill) and is king-stud with the most beautiful, worldly women. He drives the nicest cars and has access to the coolest toys.

I just knew I should have instead gone to see The Holiday. Chick-flick? Maybe so. But at least it's not pretending to be otherwise, like Casino Royale.

Oh, and one final comment: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!