Till Death Do Us Part

I have an idea for a movie / documentary. It would be in the same format as movies like Bowling for Columbine and Supersize Me. Only, this would be about seperation and divorce.
I originally had this idea some time ago, when I first started to go through my situation in my own marriage. At first I was quite ashamed to open up and talk with people about it, and then when I finally did, I was stunned by the amount of people around me that were going through the same thing. It was as though I had personally discovered a societal epidemic.

The more I talked to people and heard their stories, the more disgusted I became. The more I began to scratch my head and wonder why this "epidemic" was happening. And that's the premise for the movie, to answer the question: Why?

My final epiphany for the movie came one as I was driving to work in the morning. I was stopped in traffic and I noticed a sign that someone had posted on a bus shelter. It read: "Divorces for $300". Ok, that just blew me away! What that meant is that divorce had finally arrived as a cheap commodity and was sharing the same advertising stage as roofers, painters and get-rich quick schemes to earn $1000 dollars a week.

Talk about a total anti-thesis to the "sanctity of marriage" that we all seemed to learn somewhere along the way in our lives. It even gives the appearances of demonstrating the symptoms of our disposable society.

Of course there is no end to the people you could interview for this documentary, but the really incidious part of all this, to me is that our government is quietly standing by and not intervening in some way. Marriage and family are supposed to weave the very fabric of our society, so why arent they saying anything publicly?

I got to talking with a friend of mine about this apathy by the government. What we came to realize was that our society in general is moving more towards a sense of individualism. People are coming to depend less on each other and personal relationships. So what, you ask? Well, as we become more isolated from one another, we become more alone and lonely. And what do we do to avoid that? We buy stuff! Like MP3 players, so we can plug in our headphones and tune the world out.

Remember Michael Moorer said in the movie Bowling for Columbine, that "fear sells." When we lose our personal relationships and become 'islands', we buy ourselves stuff to make ourselves feel better. I just spoke with a woman who is recently seperated and she admitted that since she seperated she spent more on herself in one month than in 7 years of marriage. Oddly enough, her ex is doing the same thing.

That's when I came to realize that fear and loneliness sell, which generates big business, creates industries and jobs, tax revenue and helps drive the economy. If a couple splits up, they will theoretically need double of everything. Two homes, with two sets of furniture, etc. Again, more revenue generated for business and more taxes in the government's pockets. With all these benefits, why would the government intervene?

But back to my original question? Why? Why do so many couples seperate and divorce? Why the epidemic? They say 1 in 2 marriages fail. If you talk to enough people about it as I have, you'll get the sense that it is more than 50% of marriages that fail and that it is really dis-heartening. And worse still that there is nothing or anyone out there in the mainstream trying to expose this problem with the desire to try and slow it down.

We had a seperation cousellor with Toronto's Catholic Family Services who said, and I quote: "marriage does not have to be a life sentence." This is the Catholic Church for goodness sake. The same people that told me on my wedding day, "for richer and for poorer, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

Wait a minute. That's it! That's the name for the movie - "Till Death Do Us Part."

Anyhow, I have lots of ideas around this. But what I could do is to start interviewing people and documenting what happened in their failed relationships. My point, like Supersize Me, is to expose the truth. To open the doors up and see just what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe we could find some couples that went through the turmoil or who are still in the middle of it, that would be willing to be filmed.

I know it is intensely personal for many people, but I think that makes it all the more compelling and worthwihile and something that other people and couples watching could relate to. Maybe the benefit to this would be letting people know that they are not alone and that the troubles they are experiencing are not unique, and maybe not so bad as to cause a breakup afterall.